Thursday, December 20, 2007

New Year's Resolutions

Gonna be takin some time off til the new year

Wanna thank all my loyal fans

For tuning in day after day

Have a Happy Happy New Year!

Signing off (til 08),

Sunday, December 16, 2007


This is what t-r-e-a-t-s do to me

And this is what m-i-l-k does to me

and tomatoes
and cheese
and coldcuts
and red peppers
and popsicles
and liver
and mashed potatoes
and bacon
and whipped cream

I guess this is what food does to me

but I don't like popcorn

Neighborhood Watch

Seems to be a rash of missing dogs in the neighborhood

I guess the little ones are harder to spot

Thinkin of starting a brigade to find these fellers

And it's not just for the reward money

Us types have to stick together

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Wish Bone


If you eat the wish bone

after you've broken it

and come away with the bigger half

is your wish still granted?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Treat Jar

Behold the treat jar!

So tall and majestic

Containing mysteries and delicacies

A mighty fortress

Sublime and ravishing

To be broached so carefully

Its goodness savored so profoundly

Treat jar, I bow to thee!

Monday, December 10, 2007

You Can't Catch Me

I know what you're thinking

This doesn't look too good for me

But what happened was

Gingerbread Man kept saying

You can't catch me!

You can't catch me!

So I had to show him that I could

Sunday, December 9, 2007


Oh Laika

Do you remember our days

Cruising through space

Careening past saturn

Making a left turn

Bones flying by and

Stars in our eyes

Oh Laika

We floated on four legs

Ate freeze-dried steaks

While the sun set before us

As we barked at Taurus

And laughed at the moon

It ended too soon

Oh Laika

Space Oddity

Ground Control to Major Don!

Found this old photo in my treasure chest

Reminds me of my days with NASA

I was suddenly discharged due to

some indiscretions with a

certain other canine ...

Game Corner

Sometimes games reflect real life situations

As you can see, this pup is not wearing a collar

Nor does he have a license

The city dog catcher is closing in

Somehow I feel like...

We should warn him?

Sunday, December 2, 2007

New Best Friend

They say the dog is man's best friend

So let me know when your tv

does anything in the way of

loyally guarding you and your home

and I'll start worryin!

Snow Day

Ah the first snow of the year

So crisp and clean

it has to be right on your nose

to get a good deep sniff

Hacker Alert!

Seems someone hacked into my site

and posted some erroneous information

I'm not wanted in any counties...

for anything...


Beware of Hackers!!

10 Most Wanted


Have you seen this [dog?]

Frequent disguises:

-Half Bear Mask

-Crazy Chipmunk Tail

-Sea Urchin Face

Known Aliases:

-Molasses Joe

-10 Gallon Hat


**Please Contact Your Local Authorities with ANY information**

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Like to talk about my scratchin post

It's just a tree to most

But it's a place of note

I shake the leaves to the ground

Rubbin my nose, I'm not proud

They tie it down with a bow

Cuz they don't know

Bout my scratchin post

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Rin Tin Tin

Rin Tin Tin was a great dog and a great actor

Unfortunately as his career began to wane

He got involved in some schemes to resurrect his image

He even posed for some less than angelic rags

We all say we'd never sink so low

But who of us knows what we'd do

In such a situation?

Color Between the Lines

The lady at the dinner said

Oliver what big eyes you have!


Oliver what big ears you have!


Oliver what a big big nose you have!

Don't know what her story was...

Have fun coloring her in!

Giving Thanks

I was asked to a Thanksgiving Dinner

Only thing was, I wasn't sure if

I was on the guest list or the menu

Luckily it turned out OK

I got my very own bird to eat

Phew! That was a close one

No Extratesticles

Me and Dino out on the corna

radio blastin an' it's the bomb yo

aliens landin wanna take my testicles

but i got dino and he's the besticles

moon is fallin bi**hes fawnin

it's my callin

Skyscrapers gum wrappers bums crappin

Must be my rappin

and we out


Oliver Dino 07'

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Game Corner

People enjoyed the Word Jumble so much

(And are clamoring for more)

So I decided to try my hand at crosswords

I don't think you'll find it too taxing

But I do think you'll have fun!

Sorry, no prizes for this one

I'm on the outs with the postman

Tropical Fantasy

Sometimes I dream about gettin away

My friend Parroty invited me

to his pad in the jungle

I said Parroty I just might take you up on that!

Now I just have to convince Lady and Mister

to spring for my airfare