New Year's Resolutions

Gonna be takin some time off til the new year

Wanna thank all my loyal fans

For tuning in day after day

Have a Happy Happy New Year!

Signing off (til 08),
Oliver

Drooly

This is what t-r-e-a-t-s do to me

And this is what m-i-l-k does to me

and tomatoes
and cheese
and coldcuts
and red peppers
and popsicles
and liver
and mashed potatoes
and bacon
and whipped cream

I guess this is what food does to me

but I don't like popcorn

Neighborhood Watch

Seems to be a rash of missing dogs in the neighborhood

I guess the little ones are harder to spot

Thinkin of starting a brigade to find these fellers

And it's not just for the reward money

Us types have to stick together

Wish Bone

Question:

If you eat the wish bone

after you've broken it

and come away with the bigger half

is your wish still granted?

Treat Jar

Behold the treat jar!

So tall and majestic

Containing mysteries and delicacies

A mighty fortress

Sublime and ravishing

To be broached so carefully

Its goodness savored so profoundly

Treat jar, I bow to thee!

You Can't Catch Me

I know what you're thinking

This doesn't look too good for me

But what happened was

Gingerbread Man kept saying

You can't catch me!

You can't catch me!

So I had to show him that I could

Laika

Oh Laika

Do you remember our days

Cruising through space

Careening past saturn

Making a left turn

Bones flying by and

Stars in our eyes

Oh Laika

We floated on four legs

Ate freeze-dried steaks

While the sun set before us

As we barked at Taurus

And laughed at the moon

It ended too soon

Oh Laika

Space Oddity

Ground Control to Major Don!

Found this old photo in my treasure chest

Reminds me of my days with NASA

I was suddenly discharged due to

some indiscretions with a

certain other canine ...

Game Corner

Sometimes games reflect real life situations

As you can see, this pup is not wearing a collar

Nor does he have a license

The city dog catcher is closing in

Somehow I feel like...

We should warn him?

New Best Friend

They say the dog is man's best friend

So let me know when your tv

does anything in the way of

loyally guarding you and your home

and I'll start worryin!

Snow Day

Ah the first snow of the year

So crisp and clean

it has to be right on your nose

to get a good deep sniff

Hacker Alert!

Seems someone hacked into my site

and posted some erroneous information

I'm not wanted in any counties...

for anything...

ever.

Beware of Hackers!!

10 Most Wanted

WANTED IN 13 COUNTIES

Have you seen this [dog?]

Frequent disguises:

-Half Bear Mask

-Crazy Chipmunk Tail

-Sea Urchin Face

Known Aliases:

-Molasses Joe

-10 Gallon Hat

-Ringo

**Please Contact Your Local Authorities with ANY information**

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Like to talk about my scratchin post

It's just a tree to most

But it's a place of note

I shake the leaves to the ground

Rubbin my nose, I'm not proud

They tie it down with a bow

Cuz they don't know

Bout my scratchin post

Rin Tin Tin

Rin Tin Tin was a great dog and a great actor

Unfortunately as his career began to wane

He got involved in some schemes to resurrect his image

He even posed for some less than angelic rags

We all say we'd never sink so low

But who of us knows what we'd do

In such a situation?

Color Between the Lines

The lady at the dinner said

Oliver what big eyes you have!

and

Oliver what big ears you have!

and

Oliver what a big big nose you have!

Don't know what her story was...

Have fun coloring her in!

Giving Thanks

I was asked to a Thanksgiving Dinner

Only thing was, I wasn't sure if

I was on the guest list or the menu

Luckily it turned out OK

I got my very own bird to eat

Phew! That was a close one

No Extratesticles

Me and Dino out on the corna

radio blastin an' it's the bomb yo

aliens landin wanna take my testicles

but i got dino and he's the besticles

moon is fallin bi**hes fawnin

it's my callin

Skyscrapers gum wrappers bums crappin

Must be my rappin

and we out

peace

Oliver Dino 07'

Game Corner

People enjoyed the Word Jumble so much

(And are clamoring for more)

So I decided to try my hand at crosswords

I don't think you'll find it too taxing

But I do think you'll have fun!

Sorry, no prizes for this one

I'm on the outs with the postman

Tropical Fantasy

Sometimes I dream about gettin away

My friend Parroty invited me

to his pad in the jungle

I said Parroty I just might take you up on that!

Now I just have to convince Lady and Mister

to spring for my airfare

Good Scratch

A muzz is good and noble

but a muzz on scratch...

...now that's a paradise

fit for a king

Talkin Trash

There are many situations in life that call for extreme delicacy

For instance

It's important to proceed slowly when negotiating a trash heap

First step: approach the area with caution, wary of scavengers and interlopers

Second step: survey the amass with the nasal glands (this part is critical)

Third step: when you're sure you know what you're dealing with

Go For It!

Rowlf

A little known fact is that Rowlf

did a stint as the manager of

a dog pound a while back

Well that's where I met Rowlf

and he's been a great friend ever since

If you don't believe me, I suggests

You take in a little movie called

"Muppets Take Manhattan"

Payback

A word of caution

Never make snide comments

about scientists.

Especially scientists with

a yen for "improvement"

I did and look what happened to me!

Top Dog

Well this puts a new twist
on the term "top dog"

They say it's supposed to
be a good thing
But if this is what it entails
I want no part of it!

By the way, who gets fed first?

Doppelganger

Half way around the world

There's a dog that looks like me

He sleeps in the sun

As lady watches over him

My shadow self

But he has a white paw

The natives say it is good luck

When you look in the mirror

What do you see?

Mister Mister

Love for Mister

Where do I begin?

He gives me t-r-e-a-t-s

takes me o-u-t

He's been my main man from jump city

Hooch

Some of you may have been wondering about

"Hooch" from the word jumble

No, I aint talkin about moonshine

If you've ever seen the 1989 movie Turner and Hooch,

a classic cop and canine caper,

You know exactly what I'm talkin about!

If you haven't I suggest you see it immediately

It's nothing short of a masterpiece

Word Jumble

Try your hand at this puzzler

First person who can tell me the

Bonus Word

Wins a prize

Post your answers under comments

Good Luck!

Life of Pie

Pie is delicious

there's pizza pie, rhubarb pie

apple pie, moon pies

whoopie pies, mud pies

When you view your life in terms of pie

everything gets put into perspective

Halloween Days

Well it's gettin close to halloween

This year i'm going as a caterpillar

some folks say it looks like an anaconda

this outfit doubles as an extra layer on cold days

lady and mister are pretty stingy with the heat

Davey and Goliath

I never claimed to be religious

but in my mind Goliath is

as close a dog gets to god

Tech Support

Lady asked for some help learnin the interweb

I don't mind sharing my expertise

as long as we go to to sites that speak to my interests

Frankenpet

They say sometimes pets and their people resemble each other

Well sometimes I start looking like my toys

They warned me this could happen if I got too close

Oliver's Italy

Every once in a while I have an accident.

I think this one looks like Italy, home of mister's ancestors.

He was a a little upset cuz i ruined something he says costs more than me.

Hope I don't get the boot!

Well don't leave stuff layin on the floor...

What do you want from me? I'm German.

River Ode

This one is about a park I used to visit

almost every day

walkin by the river

eatin up some grub

listenin to the music

of the local jazzy band &

watchin the sunsets

well they fixed it up and now I'm not allowed

Lassie

Gonna be talking about some other famous dogs

and how they've influenced me

What i like about Lassie is her courage in the face of adversity

and her thick luxurious coat

Fun Fact: In TV Land Lassie was always played by a male dog

That means I could play Lassie

If I were a Collie

Dream Walk

Had a dream last night

there was no tree left unsniffed

no hydrant left unpeed

no grasses untrod by canine paws

no leaves left unkicked

no bones left uneaten

no cats unbarked at

Dare to Dream!

Guess This is It

In between walks sometimes I get left with relatives.

Brings to mind one time I got shipped off to my grammie and gramps in New England for what seemed like a lifetime, although it was only 3 weeks.

After waiting loyally by the door for a number of days for lady and mister to return, I came to the conclusion that "this was it" and settled into my new life.

Grammie picked up on this and tried to console me as much as she could. But you know how it goes.

Later found out lady and mister were on their honeymoon in vietnam and had left me behind cuz "three's a crowd and two makes a real honeymoon." Guess I can't blame them.

As much as I enjoy the long grass and deep shade of the country, there's something about me that will always be drawn to the bright lights of the city.

Guess i'm just wild at heart and there's no place like home.

Walks

Walks are important to a dog

This is a typical weekday morning walk

down the street to get coffee (none for me thanks)

down to the river

back around to home

No frills

Bird Dog

Got a new friend

name of Bird

Sings a sweet song

tweedle dee dee dee dee dee

tweedle dee dee dee dee dee

tweedle dee dee dee dee dee

tweedle dee dee dee dee dee

tweedle dee dee dee dee dee

tweedle dee dee dee dee dee

Sing it with me

Bubbles

a word to the wise

don't trust bubbles

they come off as fun

until they try to attack you!

then you have to eat them.

Coney Island Bud

Well some folks have asked to see pictures from my younger days

This photo was taken in the wee hours of the morning at Coney Island

Where a dog can just be a dog

Unknown Aliases

Thought I should let people know about some of my other monikers

Some of them are inspired by physical characteristics

Some are inspired by mental characteristics

And some are just cuz I was hungry

Heritage

Sometimes people ask me about my breed

I guess I'm known as a shepherd mix

But I think this picture makes it obvious that I'm also part squirrel

In the Interest of Full Disclosure

Missing a tooth on my left side jaw

Chances are I washed it down with a chicken bone I found on the street

Doc Felton said that's common

The Chicken Lady

Chicken Lady came by today

when she comes by everybody wins

she's very generous with her chicken

although it never seems to be enough

she's gone now but she left us chicken salad

Known Aliases

got a lot of nicknames

people call me bud

devil hoof - i think that one's self explanatory

revilo - that's my alter ego

you can ask me about the other ones

Free Stuff

Date of Birth: ?/??/1998?

Location:
Sunnyside, Queens

Adopted:
4/1999

Age at Adoption: Approx. 6 mos